Epiphany

It's funny the way that things change, ain't it? The fact that one day you wake up and it is just different, life is different, things are more clear and the things that were once toxic to you are just gone. But, in reality they are still there, you have just left them behind. There is a massive amount of strength required to achieve this but it is necessary to be able to move forward and live for your own life rather than anything else. What will make you happy? Is it really that double cheeseburger, or one last fling with your ex? No. In reality you know that both things are terrible for you and your moment of clarity was so powerful that the epiphany of the damage they can do will cause you to avoid them like the plague. And in the end you will be beyond thankful that you did.

It's weird to look back on my life seven years ago, that girl that was in college and on the dean's list and making all of these plans for greatness. Then along came what I thought was love and I devoted everything to it. I quit school, I quit my job all so that I could spend as much time as possible with this person...a mistake? I don't know, I guess I could look at it that way but in the end if all of that hadn't happened I wouldn't be where I am now, and I like where I am and the places I am going. I have a wonderful, great paying job, I am going to go back to school and decide what I really want to do when I "grow up" and I am able to support myself. I feel pretty empowered and not so scared of what the future holds for me. I have loved someone with my whole heart but that is gone now because that person was not who I thought they were. I am cutting the toxicity from my life and I am going to enjoy it to the fullest. I am going to travel as much as possible and love every moment that I can. That is where the joy in life is. I am so thankful to be able to be where I am at this point even if the road to get here was incredibly rough and at times I was not able to see the sun through the clouds. Now I know that the sun is always there but sometimes you have to look a little harder to see it or even seek it out for yourself.